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  • Lawunmi A. Nwaiwu

Win or Lose? How to Challenge Your Perspective

Many of us enter the new year with a sense of desire for change. We set new goals, intentions or want to feel different about ourselves - which is all well and good but these changes won't hold not unless we reflect on the narratives we believe about ourselves and the people around us. How can we reframe and change our story?

Your mindset is your most critical asset. Tricky situations are thrown at us all the time, but so often in life, we look at situations with two choices, win or lose? I have personally learned new perspectives in challenging situations and by utilising the power of reframing in my daily activities, it has revealed more possibilities and solutions than ever before. Here, I share how reframing situations can make you feel more clear, resourceful and optimistic about our circumstances. It might take some trial and error, but with that in mind, you might find these tips useful.


Reframing feedback


Start fact-checking yourself. A powerful wisdom is in realising that every perspective is valuable. Once we are able to switch from asking, "is this true?" to "is this helpful", it gives room to have a broader perspective without completely disempowering ourselves.

It is crucial that we actively listen to the words spoken to us. For example, no one likes to be criticised about how they perform their jobs and although criticism may feel uncomfortable, it can be extremely beneficial. Reframing feedback requires us to pay attention, to focus deeply on what is said, to reframe the questions we ask ourselves from "why" to "what". For example, what happened, what role did I play etc. When we stop and reflect and triangulate other feedback we have received in the past, it opens up our creative spirit and we begin to understand our situations from a new lens.


Reframing accomplishments


How do we value the things that we HAVE accomplished? Well, how we view our accomplishments and how we evaluate the skills we have used or have gained in our achievements depends on what we define as success! When I had my first wedding client in 2011, it felt like success. After more than 7 years of hard work and focus, it was no longer success because I haven't got the 'big check'. However, I changed my perspective on how I understood success and learned that my accomplishments doesn't always have anything to do with money. It had to do with being grateful for what I have achieved and how I was able to sustain the achievements. Gratefulness is what attracts a genuine respect for new opportunities, attracts people to your vision and creates a positive attitude in your growth.


"“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change." – Wayne Dyer

Reframing reality


Reframing any situation or circumstances requires a radical shift in our mindset. I wake up each day at early hours of the morning to do my quiet time. It helps me to discover new productive ways of managing my daily activities. Money really isn't the most valuable resource we have, instead, time is. When we are able to invest in our time; money, skills and value becomes the earned result of it. This mindset has helped me focus on abundance instead of what I lack and see that by being resourceful, I am able to become more visible and competitive. Taking time to reflect, with a sense of desire for change will help us to reframe our role as a leader or as an innovator and to finally create the reality that you desire.


Reframing strategies


Over the years and from personal experiences. I have discovered that you have to try things out a bunch of times, before you know what ticks - but it's also important to remember that trying out new things takes time to start working. I try to give myself at least a week on reframing strategies before switching things up. When you see that you are making small progress, give it time for continuous progress and you could get better by 1% each day. If you see that things aren't working, maybe you just need to try again another day and see if there is a different new skill that feels better matched to make things work.